remembering the rain

i gather that the saddest part of growing old is forgetting.

case in point: dancing in the rain. i wonder why it is only the kids do that dance.

when it rains, children run around and play in the rain. grown-ups run like mad for cover.
both run:
it's just that one group run towards it and the other away from it.

maybe it is because grown-ups know that getting yourself wet in the rain will bring illnesses of all sorts. floodwaters are plagued with diseases. or maybe because they know that the rainwater (yes, even those drops that haven't yet reached the ground -- just think smog, smog and more smog) is not a health drink.

i danced in the rain too. when i was around 8 till i was 12. i waited for the first rain of the year. which would, almost always, last a week. we lived in an apartment that had roof gutters. the heavy rainwater that accumulated on the roof would fall through these gutters like waterfalls. i loved going under them and i can still remember the feeling of concern and sheer bliss that my head would split open due to the force of the falling water. for 4 years, i danced and played and got soaked in the rain. each single time, for a week. and every single year, i always ended up with a bad case of influenza. but i would always await the coming of the first rain of the year to come. i was in kidapawan then.

high school was davao city. i don't know if it was high school or it was the city. but i stopped my annual rain dance. maybe i was preoccupied with wanting freedom but not getting it(which in retrospect, was a good thing --- i was so young i didn't know what freedom meant) maybe there were things i deemed more important and activities consumed my time. i hadn't been thinking much about dancing, but the rain would ever call out to me.

college called me into the biggest metropolis in the country: metro manila. it is here that i learned to shun the rain water. it is dirty. (i still think it is). the floodwaters are much worse, considering that the streets on which they flow (or stagnate) are not very hygienic.

however, my kinship with the rain grew only stronger. i remembered it rained when i boarded the airplane on my own for the first time. i always have this feeling that it rains whenever i would be in a moment that should be engraved in my memory.

still, i haven't danced in the longest time. and yes, it is sad when it rains: when i remember that i'd known once but have forgotten how.