rites of passage

"Permanently migrating to Australia" was the option provided by the disembarkation card for my case. i ticked it, of course. then mulled over what "permanent" means. permanence never occurred to me. not on anything. a long time is not permanent. maybe because i change a lot. maybe because i don't grow roots. permanence is applicable to God, but not to me. all the same, i ticked that option. went through several motions. i am here. away from the rainy philippines to the wintery sydney.

separations, i believe, call for proper mourning. i practice that too. except for this case. when i skipped so many mourning sessions so i could finish all the preparations needed and meet up with as many friends as i could. then there's mama not approving of me crying especially when traveling.

i am thankful for the ride to the airport i shared with ivy. it is only with her that i went through my motions of separation. we cried, acknowledging we'd miss each other. but it's okay. and it's okay to cry. we'd see each other soon. we bid each other take care. fared each other well. i also remember distinctly ta, ma and les. separation, albeit temporarily, paved way for a loving and warm farewell.

as i look out the window, i see brick houses. apartments are now called flats. elevators, lifts. it is currently 2:40pm and everbody is most probably eating lunch in manila. i am in an altogether new place. but my thoughts often drift back to the philippines. i will live here and will likely change a lot. [i hope my accent does not, though.] living calls for growth, not permanence.